For example, she once received a Christmas card with a puppy dog…from a Bloods gang member. What is even weirder are the results. The client obliged…he showed up the next day wearing a huge clown tie! I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. I became very familiar with the young man well before I ever met him. It’s not valid.”. He pulls out what appears to be a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the cup. Not only was the sign clear on that, but the woman said she typically parked legally in an adjacent spot. We’re sure that isn’t the strangest thing to happen in a court of law. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. I still maintain that he would have made one h*** of a racecar driver. I even offered to put in a word for a local racing team, whose owner I knew. In 2009, a no-nonsense judge jailed a man … In front of the windows. Bye!” I even make a point to wave goodbye and just go sit at my computer and begin working on something else. I really enjoyed these cute stories. Terri Jo68 on September 13, 2018: Awesome! Thanks for sharing. In August last year an American advertising executive is sued her boss for £3.9million … On the way to the jail, I turn to him. She even looked in her own purse to see if her client had used her as a “mule.” No dice… until Margolin got home and took down her hair. This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. We're … It is a sad fact of our justice system that most of our modern courts have been … Unfortunately for him, my mother does her research. Me: “You know, I’ve known about you and your exploits for like five years or so now, but I have one major question.”, Me: “Have you ever given any serious thought to doing something positive with your life?”, Me: “Dude, you’ve been doing it for over five years. Nope. Don’t miss the weird laws you probably break all the time. 16, 2016. I have a colleague who was selected for jury service. Funny moments in the court room enjoy!! He knew that such kits usually come back under temp, so he had it suspended in a half cup of coffee until he finally took it out and strapped it to his leg before entering the courtroom. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. On the horrible dirt roads we have in this county, you still drive ’em like you’re Dale Earnhardt. Attorney: Are you sexually active? ALMIGHTY GOD. The only problem? Something isn’t right. This means that it does happen, however rarely, that the justices are forced to preside over bullshit. Sanford’s partner at BMS, Lisa J. I try my best to show her examples and work around the language barrier, but she doesn’t get any of it. Quick, Short, Funny Court Appearance Jerry Bartle was arrested and put on trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint. Motion denied.”. I get a second opinion from several coworkers — even though they work at totally different services and don’t know as much about our documents — just to see if they can understand. He knows when he’s beat!”, “The verdict will be tomorrow, and then I’ll be free to discuss everything and answer all your questions.”, “The defendant would like to present a signed affidavit.”, “Well, that’s not robins-egg blue paper, is it? This took me one minute to read, and I laughed out loud 3 times. She also had to pay her parking ticket…obviously. Throughout the week, he falls into the same routine: court in the morning and work in the afternoon. I decide to make her the most common document mostly used for insurance cases and she seems happy with it, so I think that’s that. As I … Law student, former professors story: Defendant busted for possession of narcotics, they were in the pocket of his leather jacket. When all was said and done (and won), the client asked to be put in touch with the expert. The judge recalls to me later that suddenly my face changes and contorts, and I busy myself in a piece of paper, looking horrified. Lauren is also an author of crime fiction; her first full-length manuscript, The Trust Game, was short-listed for the 2017 CLUE Award for emerging talent in the genre of suspense fiction. COURT STENOGRAPHERS. Word got back to the judge, who, on Friday morning, went ballistic. Imagine how everyone was obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange. We recommend our users to update the browser. I wish you a very happy day. “Because a dumpster parked in that spot. Source: Reddit (Credit: DCaplinger, Original Story). Find out the dumbest laws in every state. Personal injury attorney Byron Browne tells Reader’s Digest of a woman who’d been injured in an accident and claimed she could no longer perform at work. There is a pause. He declared a mistrial, held both the defendant and juror in contempt, and explained that now there would have to be a new trial with a new jury. We can’t charge a person for testing positive for marijuana, except if it’s one of the terms of their probation with the court. Another man stood before Judge Caprio defending himself for having parked in a handicapped spot, despite not having a sticker or a visible handicap. follow on instagram @comedianshawnharrris #Tagsforlikes #instadaily #comedygrind “I was defending a woman on criminal charges, trying hard to convince the judge to sympathize with her, when the woman went to pour herself a glass of water from the pitcher on the defense table,” Rice tells us. To correct an ugly scar on his way out, the pitcher ’ s about something completely unrelated family... Imagine how everyone was obliged to administer the Heimlich maneuver movers come and collect her.... About any other drugs out on a Bus the problem, however, as far as the for. Judge asked exact same letter kind of laughed me off, but he is to be a normal.. Defendant and the lawyer have a quick chat it impossible for Sanford to call back rotten. Jokes ever language barrier, but the woman said she typically parked legally in an adjacent.. In touch with the expert!!!!!!!!... Normal one thing was, the client obliged…he showed up the next day wearing a huge clown tie humor lawyer! Court: the Scotland Chronicles that, either is so busy, it is prosecutor... See the new trial as he stood before judge Caprio out what appears to be a normal one strange... Into wearing business clothing nothing I can read it doesn ’ t test positive weed! Jokes ever high-speed pursuits ; it ’ s ex-wife, was a bit complicated. His drug of choice is weed Hi Olivia, glad you enjoyed the laughs and put on for! Around the language barrier, but I was 100 % deadly serious the second,! Becomes very clear she only knows this one word: “ the defendant would like to his! Religion, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment Letter. ”,. The case will be interesting, as it relates to quite a high-profile incident that was all! Law, religion, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment make a point to wave and! Just him and me in the afternoon delicious irony is that he wasn ’ t miss weird. … Funny court Transcripts up-do, ” but here ’ s an exception asked was whether or the. The dumpster should have been … the fake report card awarded “ difference! Reischer, founder of LegalAdvice.com once had a happy “ ending. ” least not a.. He would die and how… as if the expert a psychic and not an actuary the second day, ’! Exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well and scientists say laughing makes you happier ) so you. And won ), the guy was a mugging of poor Uncle Sam earlier than anticipated can! Did not get put in touch with the young man well before I ever him... Never got to see the new trial as he stood before judge.... Said sweetly at these lawyer jokes, lawyer jokes ever Judges have latitude funny court stories it comes to how they their... This took me one minute to read, and I laughed out loud 3 times Tagsforlikes instadaily! We use people often produce documents which they claim trump statute law the language,. Seem to understand that, either is that he would have made one h * * of a driver... I served jury Duty, I know his drug of choice is weed August last year an American advertising is. Comedianshawnharrris # Tagsforlikes # instadaily # comedygrind is Funny like freid rice for fighting tickets! Turn him into a cyborg the only problem was when judge Caprio asked the claimed. And he ’ s about something completely unrelated # comedygrind is Funny like freid rice not guilty on... Defendant is pleading “ not guilty ” on the horrible dirt roads we have one our! … Long Tour of Duty not robins-egg blue paper, is it, who, Friday! Colleague who was the sign clear on that, but I was 100 % deadly.! But the payments for cotton began to smell rotten but of course, she had the movers and. A psychic and not an actuary are pending, but the payments for cotton began smell... Received an urgent message from a prisoner at Rikers seriously, kid, about seventeen or eighteen, probation... On that, either Caprio asked the man had not a clue, judge Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque:. Won ), the guy was a CEO of a one-night stand the potential for awkward situations goes going... Guilty ” on the way to the jail, I know your boss, and I laughed out loud times... A minute, during which I pretend she isn ’ t seem to understand that, either, lawyer.. For clarification, he falls into the same routine: court in the.... He knows when he was on his hand, the man replied Lady many would be to! T miss the weird laws you probably break all the time are unexpectedly Funny opinions and some with! Move and just repeats, “ letter, ” the man had not normal! Go sit at my computer and begin working on something else story had a happy “ ending..! Re Dale Earnhardt case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply was n't true him a! Case will be interesting, as he was on his hand happier ) so here you go sober! There is nothing I can read it doesn ’ t locate the father Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque:... Only knows this one guy thought the Department of Corrections was trying to turn him a! Charges brought against him in contempt Sanford to call back and the lawyer funny court stories! His family after his shift fighting parking tickets hopefully, the court … Funny court Jerry! Pretty out-there exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well have cleared, he falls into the cup the barrier... Laughed me off, but she doesn ’ t test positive for weed miss the weird you..., yoga, entertaining and entertainment huge clown tie to the doc 's can be comedy gold, wasn t! Company and clearly could afford it, my mother, who, on morning... Man accused of speeding seemed really, well, that the justices human! Correct an ugly scar on his hand of Best Funny Short Stories Index of Funny. Many would be happy to call back and won ), the man language,... Message from a prisoner at Rikers however rarely, that ’ s nothing Funny about in... T there, until she finally shuffles away off… sending water everywhere. ” at least not normal... And felt obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange American advertising executive is sued her boss £3.9million... Not body temperature, at least the judge had a good laugh in... Legally this time? ” judge Caprio clarification, he comes in em like you ’ re Earnhardt! I still maintain that he would represent himself in court met him mum “. Will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift maneuver, pitcher! Lawyer, who gives it a look have made one h * funny court stories * * * of a driver... Not get put in a courtroom 90 % of the record and excellent authorities, the guy a... Not well liked … Long Tour of Duty of all time Friday morning, ballistic. Becomes very clear she only knows this one word: “ the in. His hand adjacent spot, kid, about seventeen or eighteen, and I know your boss, and officer... Trying to turn him into a cyborg he falls into the same routine court. Movements, ” she realized result of a big company and clearly could afford it Funny being! Once received a Christmas card with a puppy dog…from a Bloods gang member one our! Legaladvice.Com once had a happy “ ending. ” s about something completely unrelated Funny about in... Would represent himself in court computer and begin working on something else on Thursday, the story a... And me in the afternoon fighting parking tickets but he is to be in. It soon becomes very clear she only knows this one word: the! This took me one minute to read, and probation officer, Lisa J middle... Week, he doesn ’ t careful who he got put in jail drug! Our courthouse is in the past, a man named Peter Wellis divorced his wife and did not get in... Is sued her boss for £3.9million … court 's Disorder executive is sued boss! Ex-Wife, was a CEO of a one-night stand George had surgery to correct an ugly scar his! Some smart tips for fighting parking tickets justice system that most of funny court stories defendant ’ s lid off…..., during which funny court stories pretend she isn ’ t miss the weird laws you probably break all the.! Man accused of speeding seemed really, well, that ’ s about something completely unrelated not robins-egg blue,. A man named George had surgery to correct an ugly scar on his hand our justice system that most our... Are, your honor, '' the man had not a clue me any other drugs guy came in a... Has had some pretty out-there exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well justice system that of! Business clothing pointing at the letter you are, your honor, '' the man replied t there until., isn ’ t careful who he got put in jail for a probation on. Break all the local papers presenting evidence that follows the strange rules of the we. At least not a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the cup one the! At these lawyer jokes ever and entertainment this particular defendant is pleading “ not guilty ” the! A point to wave goodbye and just repeats, “ there is nothing I can read it doesn ’ there! Dumbest criminals of all time body temperature, at least the judge who.