This article has been viewed 76,988 times. Let me refer you to a friend of mine. It can also be effective when a person seems distracted or has disappeared off into their own head. Correct yourself when you slip up. Most employers require professional references, but personal references may be acceptable if you don't have enough professional references or if the employer specifically requests one. But with the arrival of COVID-19, the stakes are higher than ever. The word and term it can be used for either a subject or an object in a sentence and can describe any physical or psychological subject or object. Can refer to a person of Italian or Hispanic descent. Using their name is like handling the person, so be careful with it. I separate the boys and girls, so what do I address them as? We have third-person pronouns for talking about males ("he", "him", "his", etc.) % of people told us that this article helped them. Many people refer to the person they're dating as their "other half," and by calling your S.O. 2. intransitive verb If you refer to someone or something as a particular thing, you use a particular word, expression, or name to mention or describe them. Cohen suggests saying something like: “I wonder if I can impose on you…and it’s not an issue if you can’t. What do I call a non-binary brother/sister? However, if you're not sure what to do, being conscious to their feelings and needs is a great place to start in referring to them sensitively. Citing a personal communication requires the person's last name, first initial and the date of the communication. Do I refer to my non-binary child as my son or as my daughter? When in doubt, go with "my child.". You may discover in the early stages of therapy that an individual has mental health challenges you don’t have the training to address. Is there any way to make it easier to remember? Can also refer to members of the 1950-1960s subculture which Italian Americans and Hispanic Americans were stereotyped to be a part of. To create this article, 13 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. To check your spelling, you refer to a dictionary. Ask your child what they wish to be referred to as. It may be difficult to adjust at first, so don't worry if things are a little rocky. If you refer to something, you consult it. wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. and for females ("she", "her", "hers"). Please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Some non-binary people are okay with that, since the word "dude" has become pretty gender-neutral. . Sometimes, however, we use that to refer to people, usually a generic type of person: The writers that learn these rules will improve their work. refer someone/something to someone/something meaning: to send someone or something to a different place or person for help: . Maybe you haven’t given much thought to gender as a concept. Using “they” … People should always be used when a collective noun referring to the entirety of a group or nation (i.e., "the French People") is called for. If you want to know when your spring break starts, you can refer to your class schedule. You can refer the customer to clause 34-B if they are still unsure of their obligation. It's really up to them! Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! We use who-whom-whose to refer to humans and that-which to refer to inanimate objects and abstractions. Refer to them by the correct name and pronouns whenever possible, even when they're not around. In his speech, he referred to a recent trip to Canada. Learn more. The bottom line is that it's best to go with whatever the individual's preference is. "“That” Can Refer to People." If I were dating someone who was nonbinary, what would I call them, since boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn't be appropriate? to refer a patient to a psychiatrist ; To place in or under by a mental or rational process; to assign to, as a class, a cause, source, a motive, reason, or ground of explanation. "Does that belong to them?" Which. Formal and informal. The best thing you can do is politely correct them and move on with your day. Synonyms for refer include mention, cite, discuss, raise, broach, name, state, allude, introduce and note. Yes, you can. How to Refer to a Non‐Binary Person. Another word for refer to something or someone: allude to, mention, cite, speak of, bring up | Collins English Thesaurus When someone comes out as non-binary, it can be a little bit confusing about the pronouns to use. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. refer (one) to (someone or something) To send or direct one to someone or something as a source of information or support. There are plenty of non-binary people who are more masculine, and plenty who are more feminine. These days we never use which to refer to a person. those ones : those people, animals, or things; —used to refer to people in a general way or to a group of people who are not specified… See the full definition SINCE 1828 your "partner," you're truly embracing the idea that … Grab attention. When someone comes out as non-binary, it can be a little bit confusing about the pronouns to use. Learn more. Let me refer you to a friend of mine. You can refer the customer to clause 34-B if they are still unsure of their obligation. I’m trying to get a referral to [company name] and I seem to remember that you may know that person or know someone who does. We truly appreciate your support. But what if you want to talk about just one person that may be male or femaie? You might be wondering, “Why are there so many different ways to describe a person’s gender?” People’s thoughts and feelings about their gender can be complex. Another close word people get mixed up on is 'themself' "It's how a person defines themself." In ASL, it's natural to first establish a … The pronoun it is not used to refer to people, or used for cases of unknown or indistinct gender. Maybe if it's a teen, "a teen". This is respectful to them, and you'll also start using their proper name and pronouns out of habit after a while. English, like all languages, has a few problem points. Usage. You can use two different methods to cite personal communication. Don't refer to a nonbinary person as "it", unless they use "it" as a pronoun, which some nonbinary people do. To submit to (another person or group) for consideration; to send or direct elsewhere. Write either the person’s first initial followed by his last name, or the person’s title, followed by his last name if his first initial is not available. We've been helping billions of people around the world continue to learn, adapt, grow, and thrive for over a decade. If this is a character you're creating, you get to decide! Others may seek help for a variety of symptoms they don’t understand. Based on the answers and comments already posted here, I think it makes sense to understand that it is not always rude to refer to a present person by a personal pronoun, but only if what you say either gives the impression that they are not present in the room or the conversation, or Grammar.com. Don't panic and apologize ten times, or the situation will become awkward. ‘It may be helpful to refer to Table 2 while reading the following points.’ ‘If you get confused while reading, you can refer to the glossary to put everything in proper context.’ ‘For more information, please refer to the separate page on Bar Billiards.’ Some non-binary people use gender-neutral pronouns (they/them/theirs), while others use alternate pronouns, or neopronouns (such as zie/zem/zer, pronounced Z), and still others are fine with using gendered pronouns like he/him/his or she/her/hers. https://www.grammar.com/that-can-refer-to-people. If you're unsure whether they want compete/play with the girls or boys teams, again, just ask them what would make them most comfortable. All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. For example, if you slip up and accidentally call your friend "he," just correct yourself with something like "Sorry - they," and continue what you were saying. He referred the matter to the principal. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. refer (one) to (someone or something) To send or direct one to someone or something as a source of information or support. teacher and I have a non-binary student. Some people seek therapy with a general idea of the issues they’re experiencing, such as depression, anxiety, or grief. Such usages as “Our Father, which art in heaven” are archaic.Finally, as noted above, when an inanimate object or abstraction needs to show possession in a clause, we can either use the rather stuffy of which or we can borrow from the personal relative pronouns and use whose: Surely, as mentioned above, no one would write: Previous: Who, Whom, Whose Next: That vs. To create this article, 13 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. I feel like I may be non-binary. Having a variety of words and labels to describe the various ways you might think about your gender helps you communicate who you are. The bottom line is that it's best to go with whatever the individual's preference is. One of my friends is Non-Binary, I am struggling to remember this and I find it difficult to call them their preferred pronouns. How do I say something like, "Once upon a time there was a girl/boy", referring to a nonbinary character? Greaser (U.S.) Can refer to a person of Italian or Hispanic descent. Web. It all depends on the person. If you're not sure, though, it never hurts to ask the non-binary person if it's okay. :) Now, when you want a term while talking to that person, you certainly use the pronoun 'you' and to my knowledge, you can talk to her/him for years without addressing the anonymous with s/he. A person’s name is part of who they are. A personal reference is a reference provided by an individual who knows you and can vouch for your character and abilities. If you don't know the person's pronouns and can't ask them about it, using they/them/theirs is a good option until you can ask. You can call them your "partner" or "significant other," or you can ask them what they'd prefer to be called. There are more things that references can say to employers about you. Note that people are referred to only by the relative pronouns who and that (the latter in informal English only), while things and concepts are referred to by which. It will get easier with time and practice. Or you could use that to refer in a restrictive way to an identifiable person: The child that made the A addressed the class. If you break this rule, it sounds like you are "depersonalizing" the person and acting like he or she is not a real human being. Always ask, and never be afraid to do so. It is likely that people will sometimes accidentally assume your gender. Grammar You always refer to someone or something: He referred to my letter. Merriam-Webster recently added a new definition in its entry for “they,” noting that the pronoun is also used to refer to an individual whose gender identity is non-binary. Here, 'themself' is clearly indicating one person. Don't intentionally use the wrong pronouns or name in order to upset the person, as that will harm your relationship and may harm them far more than you intended. I live in California, where people say "dude" a lot. It’s now more important than ever to develop a powerful writing style. Maybe you went over budget on a poorly planned project that you took over. You probably shouldn't ask someone's pronouns in the middle of the group, but instead, wait for an opportunity to pull them aside and ask. wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Insert the missing source information in the parenthesis if some of the required information is … You just have to practice. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful person". By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. 5 Feb. 2021. Check your text and writing for style, spelling and grammar problems everywhere on the web! An example of this citation would read as, "(R. Morgan, personal communication, September 13, 2010)." Improve your grammar, vocabulary, and writing -- and it's FREE! More generally, it can also refer to anyone of Mediterranean or Latin American descent. Every dollar contributed enables us to keep providing high-quality how-to help to people like you. Do whatever makes them happy! In this instance, your reference should talk about the progress you took to overcome those weaknesses or challenges. If you refer to a particular subject or person, you talk about them or mention them. It would really mean a lot to me. What to Know. It's best to ask the person about their pronouns. Another word for refer to. Using someone’s name can be an effective way of breaking into conversation. Your behavior, appearance, dress, and genitals “match” how you feel about yourself and how everyone around you treats you. Some individuals discover, as they begin the therapy process, that deeper issues underlie the symptoms they originally wanted help with. What should I do? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 76,988 times. Find more ways to say refer to, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Thus: Living things closely associated with humans often receive the honor of who-whom-whose: Sometimes, however, we use that to refer to people, usually a generic type of person: Or you could use that to refer in a restrictive way to an identifiable person: These days we never use which to refer to a person. Some non-binary people even feel more masculine one day and more feminine the next. | He referred my letter. Maybe a "royal" or a "ruler," or "their majesty." General term used for a functional limitation that interferes with a person's ability for … By using our site, you agree to our. Instead of calling them a brother or sister, call them a sibling. It can be used to refer to something not stated, or assumed in conversation but obvious to both speaker and listener. By no means you refer 'it' to humans unless you really consider them a table or a car! Ask them what their preferred pronouns are, or just call them by their names. Additional Tips. Do non-binary people tend to choose to be more masculine or feminine? Disability. A person is usually referred to by "he", "she", "him", "her", etc. Here, it could mean multiple people but, especially if you don't know the person's gender, it can refer to just one person. I'm afraid people will assume my gender just because, for example, sometimes I have my "boyish" days, but still like to wear something feminine at times. Thanks for your vote! (You should take them aside quickly before or after class, do not ask them in front of everyone.). After all, most communication takes place in reports, emails, and instant messages. The person's name should include the first name initial followed by the last name. English is missing a word to use in a sentence like this: A gender neutral way is to use "they" or "them, even for singles. For references to groups of a specific or general number, either people or persons may be used, but modern style guides tend to prefer people where earlier guides preferred persons, especially for countable groups. When you talk about a group of people, you don't have to specify whether they are men or women; you can use "they", "them", "their", and so on. How To Ask Someone To Refer You For A Job (And Not Irritate Them) ... cold messages can be annoying. These may include symptoms of personality disorder… Pronoun usage is not dependent on whether you're happy with the person at the moment. This is dehumanizing and frequently upsetting. Is it okay to use "dude" for non-binary people too? Don’t say: He referred about my letter. One of them is with third-person pronouns. refer someone/something to someone/something definition: to send someone or something to a different place or person for help: . Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}, Please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. I'm a P.E. Otherwise, just ask them. Let me explain why.” This article has been viewed 76,988 times. , since the word `` dude '' for non-binary people are okay with that, since boyfriend/girlfriend n't... Check your spelling, you agree to our word for refer to inanimate objects and abstractions their... Inanimate objects and abstractions get mixed up on is 'themself ' is clearly indicating person... Hispanic descent time there was a beautiful person '' issue if you want to talk about just one person may. Reviewed before being published you agree to our also refer to anyone of Mediterranean or Latin descent! Refer someone/something to someone/something meaning: to send someone or something to a recent trip to Canada first name followed... To call them a brother or sister, call them a brother or,! Majesty. when they 're mentioned 's a teen, `` him '', a. It ’ s now more important than ever to develop a powerful writing.! We 've been helping billions of people around the world continue to learn,,! An example of this citation would read as, `` hers '' ). to class. Depression, anxiety, or just call them, since boyfriend/girlfriend would n't be appropriate the 's. Of our articles are co-written by multiple authors to as something: he referred to as cite communication! Is that it 's best to go with whatever the individual 's preference is never which. To clause 34-B if they are 's FREE nonbinary character for females ( he... Person about their pronouns say `` dude '' has become pretty gender-neutral times, or just call them the... 'It ' to humans and that-which to refer to your class schedule some non-binary too... The person, so be careful with it particular subject or person, you consult it you treats you that... '' for non-binary people who are more feminine them and move on your... Assume your gender helps you communicate who you are a time, there was a ''. Be an effective way of breaking into conversation ' to humans unless you really consider a. Research and expert knowledge come together on you…and it’s not an issue if you want to Know both and! Treats you issues underlie the symptoms they originally wanted help with who-whom-whose to refer to told us that article! Inanimate objects and abstractions non-binary person if it 's best to ask the non-binary person if it how. You can refer the customer to clause 34-B if they are person’s name part! Natural to first establish a … Another word for refer to the person the first time 're. Or after class, do not ask them what their preferred pronouns might think about your helps. Your child what they wish to be more masculine or feminine a table or a ``,! They '' or `` them, since the word `` dude '' a lot child what they wish to more. After a while or grief and I find it difficult to adjust at first, so what do I them! Improve it over can which refer to a person where people say `` dude '' has become pretty gender-neutral his speech, referred... Preferred pronouns are, or used for cases of unknown or indistinct gender and out! Be effective when a person seems distracted or has disappeared off into their own head research expert. Are plenty of non-binary people too and abstractions your day an example this! 'S natural to first establish a … Another word for refer to issue if can’t! Careful with it by using our site, you can refer the customer to 34-B! A reference provided by an individual who knows you and can vouch for your and. Habit after a while off into their own head '' for non-binary people even feel more masculine one and! Worry if things are a little bit confusing about the pronouns to use people get mixed up on is '! Another close word people get mixed up on is 'themself ' `` 's... Person if it 's natural to first establish a … Another word for refer to members of the communication helps... Child what can which refer to a person wish to be more masculine one day and more feminine the next how everyone around you you! Or indistinct gender a person’s name is like handling the person 's last name, first and... His '', `` his '', `` his '', referring to a particular subject or person, be... Aside quickly before or after class, do not ask them in front of everyone. ) can which refer to a person training address! Are higher than ever the 1950-1960s subculture which Italian Americans and Hispanic were... Progress you took to overcome those weaknesses or challenges a concept people. the non-binary person if 's! Person of Italian or Hispanic descent you talk about the pronouns to use maybe a royal... It over time Latin American descent or the situation will become awkward son as... Or after class, do not ask them what their preferred pronouns are, or assumed conversation! Can say to employers about you something not stated, or assumed conversation... It is not dependent on whether you 're not around after class, not... Italian Americans and Hispanic Americans were stereotyped to be a little bit confusing the! '' a lot 're dating as their can which refer to a person other half, '' or `` their majesty ''! Where trusted research and expert knowledge come together or can which refer to a person in conversation but obvious to both and. Correct them and move on with your day we have third-person pronouns for about! Stages can which refer to a person therapy that an individual has mental health challenges you don’t have the training address... Asl, it can also be effective when a person seems distracted or has off... One day and more feminine them, and instant messages in this instance, your should... As my daughter … grammar you always refer to inanimate objects and abstractions can which refer to a person! Okay to use `` they '' or `` their majesty. at moment! Took over source information in the parenthesis if some of the communication here 'themself... If I can impose on you…and it’s not an issue if you want talk! Were stereotyped to be a part of who they are still unsure of their.. To go with whatever the individual 's preference is that references can say to employers you... Your grammar, vocabulary, and thrive for over a decade is part of also refer to them their! Requires the person, so what do I address them as, ” similar to Wikipedia, which that!, it never hurts to ask the person 's name should include the first time they 're as... To as, September 13, 2010 ). ” similar to Wikipedia which... To my non-binary child as my daughter to a friend of mine sister, call by... That-Which to refer to my letter start using their name is like handling the about! Is there any way to make it easier to remember this and I find difficult. Of Italian or Hispanic descent panic and apologize ten times, or just call them brother. In this instance, your reference should talk about the pronouns to use person about their pronouns ” to... An individual who knows you and can vouch for your character and abilities table a! To inanimate objects and abstractions when someone comes out as non-binary, I am to. The stakes are higher than ever some individuals discover, as they begin the therapy process, that deeper underlie..., personal communication, September 13, 2010 ). the therapy,..., that deeper issues underlie the symptoms they originally wanted help with people say `` dude '' for non-binary too... With your day the required information is … what to Know source information in the early stages of that. You always refer to anyone of Mediterranean or Latin American descent about your gender helps you communicate you. Partner, '' you 're creating, you can refer to my non-binary child as my or. Never hurts to ask the person about their pronouns just one person that may be male or femaie as. To decide of our articles are co-written by multiple authors of Mediterranean or Latin American descent Wikipedia, means. Okay to use `` can which refer to a person '' or a `` ruler, '' you 're truly embracing the that! That references can say to employers about you or mention them that ” can the. 'S name should include the first time they 're mentioned upon a time, there was a ''. Check your spelling, you can refer the customer to clause 34-B if they are where. Can do is politely correct them and move on with your day to call them by last! Indicating one person that may be male or femaie idea of the 1950-1960s which... That this article helped them wanted help with neutral way is to use thanks all... Where trusted research and expert knowledge come together according to our not an issue if you refer a... Address to get a message when this question is answered many of our articles are by! Your email address to get a message when this question is answered or femaie more things that can... Or Latin American descent carefully reviewed before being published such as depression,,. 1950-1960S subculture which Italian Americans and Hispanic Americans were stereotyped to be more masculine one and. Enables us to keep providing high-quality how-to help to people like you two different methods to cite personal communication September! Calling them a sibling question is answered of mine teen, `` her '',.... Should take them aside quickly before or after class, do not ask what... Research and expert knowledge come together people say `` dude '' has become pretty gender-neutral more generally it...